Delayed Gratification: Your Superpower to Success

Description

Emilio Justo, MD, emigrated to the United States at age 3 with his parents, escaping Communist Cuba. Here, he explains how his experience as a Cuban refugee revealed that patience, perseverance, and self-discipline pave the path to extraordinary achievement and success. Delayed Gratification: Your Superpower to Success was a talk given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

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WEBVTT 00:00:13.443 --> 00:00:17.040 Do you practice delayed gratification? 00:00:19.360 --> 00:00:20.720 When traveling the world, 00:00:21.720 --> 00:00:26.440 I get approached by many people solely because they recognize 00:00:26.470 --> 00:00:29.400 the University of Michigan logo on my clothes. 00:00:30.986 --> 00:00:31.914 So get this. 00:00:32.760 --> 00:00:37.240 Five years ago, I'm checking out of a hotel in Barcelona, Spain. 00:00:38.520 --> 00:00:42.440 On my way to a cruise ship, wearing my Michigan threads. 00:00:44.400 --> 00:00:46.760 The woman in line behind me asked if I'm from Michigan. 00:00:48.680 --> 00:00:50.800 I said, No, I'm actually from Indiana, 00:00:51.720 --> 00:00:54.520 but I did attend college and medical school at U-M. 00:00:56.080 --> 00:00:57.886 Well, where in Indiana? She asked. 00:00:59.543 --> 00:01:01.157 A small town called Crown Point. 00:01:02.920 --> 00:01:07.880 Surprised, she said, My husband grew up in Crown Point. 00:01:09.320 --> 00:01:11.160 She shouted for her husband, 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:16.840 who quickly came running up to us and said, My name is John Kometz. 00:01:19.880 --> 00:01:23.360 I was in total shock. 00:01:24.720 --> 00:01:30.300 It turns out that John was one of my best friends in seventh grade. 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:32.400 I hadn't seen him in 40 years. 00:01:33.440 --> 00:01:39.857 John and I quickly embraced, and we caught up on the last four decades 00:01:40.520 --> 00:01:46.843 in four short minutes while our families departed on the same cruise ship. 00:01:51.720 --> 00:01:56.171 Understand, I wasn't always able to travel the world. 00:01:58.240 --> 00:02:00.480 I couldn't get all the things I wanted when I was young. 00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:07.040 Growing up as a teenager in Indiana, we had no money. 00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:14.600 My parents and I emigrated from Communist Cuba when I was only three. 00:02:16.729 --> 00:02:21.214 Escaping a life of uncertainty and search for a better future. 00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:24.586 My father worked two full-time jobs. 00:02:25.440 --> 00:02:29.029 My mother went to college three hours away from home 00:02:29.500 --> 00:02:31.814 while attempting to speak a foreign language. 00:02:33.320 --> 00:02:38.829 I was sent a thousand miles away to grow up with my grandparents 00:02:39.600 --> 00:02:43.520 while my parents were reestablishing themselves in a new world. 00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:48.960 We didn't have a car, 00:02:50.040 --> 00:02:54.920 and I walked to school daily during the harsh winters of Northwest Missouri. 00:02:57.520 --> 00:02:59.814 Some of my so-called friends 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:04.871 made fun of our family for being different and having accents. 00:03:06.600 --> 00:03:08.514 Unlike many of my friends 00:03:09.160 --> 00:03:14.600 who had fancy summer vacations and were gifted cars when turning 16, 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:18.900 I couldn't have the immediate gratification that they got. 00:03:21.814 --> 00:03:23.520 As a freshman in high school, 00:03:24.657 --> 00:03:29.329 I wanted so badly to play hockey for our high school team. 00:03:31.300 --> 00:03:34.257 My parents simply couldn't afford the expensive equipment. 00:03:36.880 --> 00:03:38.700 I felt cheated. 00:03:39.914 --> 00:03:41.171 I felt envious. 00:03:42.760 --> 00:03:44.471 I even felt a little bitter. 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:53.029 We live in an era of instant gratification. 00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:57.800 We expect immediate results and instant rewards. 00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:04.600 However, you can embrace and achieve your goals 00:04:04.630 --> 00:04:09.171 and dreams faster by embracing delayed gratification. 00:04:10.920 --> 00:04:16.086 When I accepted setting aside immediate gratification 00:04:17.640 --> 00:04:22.586 and instead focused on my studies and education to become a physician, 00:04:23.514 --> 00:04:27.414 I quickly learned that my life goals occurred much sooner. 00:04:30.471 --> 00:04:35.271 During college, I only had student loans and a few scholarships. 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:37.657 I chose to live frugally, 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:43.857 avoided spending on fancy meals, and instead ate the meals in the dorms. 00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:47.214 I limited my partying and concerts. 00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:52.529 After graduating and starting my ophthalmology residency, 00:04:53.380 --> 00:04:56.271 I chose to spend wisely and save. 00:04:58.440 --> 00:05:00.200 Within a few short years of working, 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:02.571 I could travel the world, 00:05:03.614 --> 00:05:05.043 buy fancy cars, 00:05:06.086 --> 00:05:07.471 but most importantly, 00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:13.414 provide financial support to my parents who had sacrificed their lives for me. 00:05:17.760 --> 00:05:19.880 Delayed gratification 00:05:21.080 --> 00:05:26.386 is the practice of resisting the temptation for immediate rewards 00:05:27.349 --> 00:05:33.000 and instead choosing to invest time and effort into long-term goals. 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:38.440 One of the critical benefits of delayed gratification 00:05:38.960 --> 00:05:41.864 is the development of resilience, 00:05:43.071 --> 00:05:48.243 strengthening our ability to overcome obstacles, endure challenges, 00:05:48.729 --> 00:05:50.871 and persevere through setbacks. 00:05:52.240 --> 00:05:58.857 Delayed gratification allows us to gain clarity about our goals and aspirations. 00:06:00.543 --> 00:06:02.743 It forces us to reflect 00:06:02.880 --> 00:06:04.426 on what truly matters 00:06:05.543 --> 00:06:08.486 and identify the steps needed to achieve those goals. 00:06:09.760 --> 00:06:12.929 It teaches us to control our impulses 00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:17.560 and make conscious choices that serve our long-term interests. 00:06:20.080 --> 00:06:22.120 By delaying instant gratification, 00:06:22.840 --> 00:06:28.480 we become masters of our desires rather than slaves to our impulses. 00:06:30.514 --> 00:06:33.029 Delayed gratification teaches us 00:06:33.929 --> 00:06:36.000 the art of patience, 00:06:37.243 --> 00:06:40.173 allowing us to wait for the right opportunities 00:06:40.714 --> 00:06:42.457 to make thoughtful decisions, 00:06:43.480 --> 00:06:48.071 enabling us to embrace the journey rather than obsess over the destination. 00:06:52.880 --> 00:06:56.357 One of the most famous and well-known studies 00:06:56.632 --> 00:07:01.886 that demonstrates the positive power of delayed gratification 00:07:02.471 --> 00:07:05.871 is the so-called Stanford Marshmallow experiment, 00:07:06.557 --> 00:07:11.486 conducted by psychologist Walter Mischel in the early 1970s. 00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:14.120 In this experiment, 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:19.880 young children ages four through six were individually presented 00:07:20.760 --> 00:07:24.214 with either a marshmallow or another treat of their choice. 00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:27.334 The researchers then explained 00:07:28.029 --> 00:07:30.429 that they could eat their treats immediately, 00:07:31.086 --> 00:07:34.257 but if they waited about 15 minutes, 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:39.000 they would receive an additional treat as a reward. 00:07:40.743 --> 00:07:43.086 The children were left alone in the room 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:47.840 and their struggle to resist temptation was observed. 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:51.360 The results were fascinating. 00:07:52.640 --> 00:07:54.480 Some of the children couldn't resist 00:07:54.720 --> 00:07:57.680 temptation and ate their treats right away. 00:07:58.520 --> 00:08:01.070 Whereas others successfully delayed 00:08:01.071 --> 00:08:05.114 gratification in order to receive the second treat. 00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:07.840 Now, years later, 00:08:08.600 --> 00:08:13.000 follow-up longitudinal studies showed that those children who 00:08:13.640 --> 00:08:17.680 displayed greater self-control and delayed gratification 00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:23.280 performed better academically, had higher SAT scores, 00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:29.640 and exhibited better social and emotional skills in adolescence and adulthood. 00:08:35.286 --> 00:08:39.000 Delaying gratification takes three simple steps. 00:08:40.800 --> 00:08:47.080 First, clearly define your most important long-term goal. 00:08:48.640 --> 00:08:51.029 Reflect on what truly matters to you. 00:08:51.880 --> 00:08:52.840 Write it down. 00:08:53.920 --> 00:08:56.720 Keep it as a visible reminder of your vision. 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:00.040 Second, 00:09:00.680 --> 00:09:04.440 Create a structured plan to achieve your goal. 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:09.480 If necessary, break down your goal into smaller, more manageable steps. 00:09:10.760 --> 00:09:12.880 Assign realistic timelines to each 00:09:12.920 --> 00:09:16.040 milestone and chart your progress regularly. 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:18.935 Third, 00:09:20.443 --> 00:09:22.914 Practice mindful decision-making. 00:09:24.280 --> 00:09:27.920 When faced with choices that involve immediate rewards 00:09:28.680 --> 00:09:31.960 but may hinder your progress toward long-term goals, 00:09:33.920 --> 00:09:40.840 pause and consider the consequences, embrace self-discipline, 00:09:41.080 --> 00:09:44.800 and choose actions that align with your long-term vision. 00:09:51.486 --> 00:09:54.800 I challenge you to step back 00:09:55.200 --> 00:10:00.571 from the immediate gratification culture and invest in your growth and potential. 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:06.140 Remember, success is not an overnight phenomenon, 00:10:07.086 --> 00:10:12.786 but rather a journey of consistent efforts and dedicated focus. 00:10:14.640 --> 00:10:18.043 Next time you encounter a temptation, 00:10:18.800 --> 00:10:21.557 simply stop, write it down. 00:10:22.920 --> 00:10:24.700 Do not act on it. 00:10:25.760 --> 00:10:32.071 Instead, wait one week and let it sink into your subconscious. 00:10:33.400 --> 00:10:36.014 One week later, you can think about it again, 00:10:36.671 --> 00:10:40.214 but the temptation will be far less. 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:46.880 This is how you learn to flex your delayed gratification muscle. 00:10:51.880 --> 00:10:55.560 Let's dare to be patient and persistent 00:10:56.360 --> 00:11:01.429 and let delayed gratification propel us toward accelerated achievements. 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:06.233 Together, we can embrace our futures 00:11:06.729 --> 00:11:11.657 and make a long-lasting impact on ourselves and the world.

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Arizona Eye Institute & Cosmetic Laser Center

Ophthalmologist and plastic surgeon Emilio Justo founded Arizona Eye Institute & Cosmetic Laser Center in 1989. With locations in Sun City West, Sun City, and Wickenburg, AZ, we help patients from the Phoenix area and beyond improve and maintain their vision through quality eye care. Our doctors are affiliated with prestigious organizations, including:

  • The American Board of Ophthalmology
  • The American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery
  • The American Academy of Ophthalmology
  • The Arizona Medical Association
  • The Arizona Ophthalmological Society
  • The Phoenix Ophthalmological Society

To request a consultation, please fill out our online form or call (623) 975-2020.

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Over the years, many people have asked me my secret… The answer is simple – I listen carefully and attentively.
Dr. Emilio Justo

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